Love from a distance

WOWZERS I have not blogged in like a month or so now, its crazy. Theres so much goin on in my life right now. But for once everything seems to be goin right. Well for starters I am so ready to live my life to the fullest and this time let GOD(AMEN) take full control of it. School is hard as ever but I am still managing to hold a 3.0 average(whoop whoop). But the main focus of this blog is that I may have found the one my heart has been longing for. Remember the last blog I had about me goin on a date with that dud!? Well comes to find out that he was a no good A-hole! when I finally felt like giving up and not letting anyone else in, I find out that my really close friend that I have known for almost 6 years now has had his eye on me(gasp). And that he's been waitin and praying to God that someday I would be his. I was shocked because he is a very handsome man and he has girls lookin at him from every angle. Caramel skin, 6'4, abs for days, a good future ahead of him and the prettiest eyes! Now the reason y he was waitin for me was beyond imaginable!

So we're talking on the phone and I start to explain to him that I am single and that for once its was time that I got myself together and focused. Then all of a sudden he starts to confess his love for me and that he cares for me more than I could ever imagine and that one day he hopes on making me his only love!(OMG) I was short of words and for a second I thought I was dreaming. LIKE, WHERE IS ALL THIS COMING FROM!? So I started crying(I am so emotional I swear) and tellin him I wasn't sure if I could handle anymore disappointments and crying. Then he said something to me that made me realize that him and I could possibly be together for a long while. He told me that he has always been there for me since he's ever known me and y would he stop caring for me now.

So far he has been the best thing in my life! He makes me happy in so many ways imaginable, I can honestly say that he is my dream come true. I neva knew I could love someone that I've known for so long with out knowing it(well D_h!). In a way it was like I was loving him from a distance.

Giving thing called love another chance.

*sigh*, where do I start with this? Okay for starters I have been talkin with this guy for like a few weeks now. He is like this full package! At first it was too good to be true. I thought it wasn't possible to meet a guy like this after the break up of my dramatic break up of my ex. I met him at my cuzzins birthday bash and I danced with him towards the end of the party. Him and I stayed close and danced the rest of the night away. He asked me for my number and I lied and said I already had a boyfriend(Lying through my teeth!) then I walked out the party towards the car I came in.

Once i got to the car I saw him comin in the car with me and I asked him wat he was doin. He Smiled and said he was gettin a ride home from his cuzzin. and I looked at my friend (the driver) and he nodded and said "Yea thats my cuzzin". When everyone got in it was kinda crowded and so I had to sit on his lap like half way(I didin't wanna come off as if I was totally into him, so I acted nonchalant). as we were driving towards his house he once again started makin small talk with me and asked me for my number. I dunno wat made me do it, but I gave him my number and he gave me his. He called me a day after the party and we've been talkin since then.

Okay lemme start from 2 days ago, him and I were having a normal conversation and then he asks me if I wanna go out the day after tomorrow(which was yesterday). I at first hesitated and didn't think I was ready to go anywhere with no guy. But after 30 minutes he persueded me and promised me that it was just cause he wanted to see me again. I blushed on the other end of the phone and agreed that I would go out with him. The day came that I had to get ready to meet him. So I laid out my clothes, took my shower(of course), rubbed some scented Bath and Body Works lotion on my body, put my clothes on, applied some eye make up(eye liner, mascara, and eyeshadow), put earrings on, adjusted and rubbed my Butterfly Necklace (for luck and guidance), sprayed Brittany Spears Fantasy perfume and last but not least looked up to the Almighty and prayed that today would go smoothly.

I headed out the door and went with my best friend to see my sisters school for a dance recital she had at the school we used to go to like maybe 7 years ago(wowzers thats long). I watched her performance and then got a text from him sayin he was already near there. Instantly I looked at my bestfriend and I got butterflys in my tummy. She looked back at me and gave me the look that said "*gasp* he texted u!". And I nodded my head an said "YEA"! So we got up as soon as my sisters dance recital was done and we hugged her and told her she did a good job. Once we were outside walkin down the street I turned around and walked the opposite way and she ran back to get me and asked me wat was wrong. With tears almost fallin out my eyes(I am so emotional) I told her 'I can't do it! I am too nervous to go through with it!" She looked at me and said that I could go through with it, that I am just scared to move on and that it'll be okay. After that she hugged me and told me to have fun, be myself, and to open my heart out to him. I took a deep breath and headed out.

Once I got to the movie theater, I called him and he was already walkin towards me. My nerves wanted me to run away FAST, but I stood there shaking like a leaf. He came up to me and hugged me tight and we walked side by side to the movie theaters makin jokes and small talk. He paid for the tickets(wat a gentleman) and held my hand (blush). Then he asked if I wanted anything to snack on but I told him no(not because I didn't wanna look like a brat, but because I just neva believed in payin $7 for little bits of nachos). So we sat and watched the movie Hangover(BTW it was hilarious even tho it was my second time watchin it.) I was shakin so badly he asked if I was nervous and I lied and told him I was just cold. Hehe, guess wat he does next? HE PUTS HIS ARMS AROUND ME! Then asks if that made me feel better. I nod my head and tell him thanx. So were watchin the movie and he whispers something in my ear and I didn't hear wat he said so when I turned my head he was also turning his head towards me. Then it happened! WE KISSED!!!!! It was so amazing, he smelled so good, his lips were soft, he took his time, in other words, my kinda kiss. I turn away and blushed(thanx God he couldn't see me blush).

After the movie was done he asked me if i was hungry(aren't I always? Hehe), I told him yes and he asked me where I wanted to go. I choose Red lobsters and I was so excited to go there considerin the fact that I haven't been there since Kindergarden. We got our table and we sat down and made small talk and played footsies under the table(blush). After eatin I had to go home(cause I have over protective parents and if I didn't get home the time I'm supposed to get home they'd probably have the Swat team lookin for me(seriously) and I'd probably won't see be able to see the light of days, not even through my window for a year).

He walked me to the bus stop(wat a sweetheart) and held me by my waist the whole way. GOSH HE SMELLED SO GOOD! As we waited for the bus him and I were kissin like it was only us 2 of us on this world. I was in pure bliss, it felt like I was standin on air(if i knew wat standin on air felt like thats how it would feel). Sadly my bus came and I got on it with a frown. as soon as I got home I texted him and told him that I had a great time. He texted back that he is happy I had fun cause he did too and that he can't wait to see me again.

I neva thought i could have fun again like I did that day. I look forward to knowin more a bout him a our relationship grows. Who wouldof thought I would of gave this thing called love another chance.

An outing with one of my besties

So yesterday i went out with my my childhood bestfriend. she just finally came back from Nigeriaafter 6 years. I'll just say that it is really good to have her around again. I love her so much! Anywho her and I went out yesterday and we are on the train. so i basically made it my duty to show her all around New York(although its not that exciting). She was so excited to finally go to the city(Manhattan) and see Time Square and see all the pretty lights and to see how New York looks like after 6 years(nothins change except for Metro fare). So we get on the train and this guy decides to sit at the very tiny edge of where my friend and i was sittin and he tells her to miove, i looked at him like he had 6 heads. i gave him a look that basically said " don't mess with me, u don't want it". So he looks back at me but still sits in the same seat. I rolled my eyes and turn my head. so after that some guys came on the train and started playin the drums and they were really good. So my friend and i gave them a dollar each, because i believe that people who work hard liek they didi to earn a dollar are worth giving money to. We got off at 50th street and walked towards her cuzzins office. We met up wit her and we all went togo eat at BBQ's. If guys forgot I am gonna remind u again, I LOVE FOOD! So when we got there we was all talkin and crackin jokes it was fun. but I was more concentrated on my food. It was spectacular. If u must know I had: FRIED CATFISH WITH YELLOW RICE. It was slamming! I love exploring the city and seein all the new stores they open and the old ones being remodled. next time we go into the City I wanna go see a Broadway Play. Her cuzzin said she was gonna get us a discount on the tickets and I really am excited to get a ticket. The first play I eva saw was "In the Heights" it was AMAZING! I had so much fun watchin it. it felt like a live television show even tho it was. I know I seem really excited but thats just how I am when it comes to things like this. I guess its because I love singing, dancing, and acting! If I had the oportunity to do any of these things I would take it within a heartbeat! *sigh* But then reality sets in and I realize that my parents will neva agreee with such a career choice. Oh well, I guess I can keep dreamin. Anywho, all and all I had fun in the City!

Will it ever be the same?

Its been a month and some change now that I have been single and lets just say it has not been easy for me. Nothin feels the same, I feel like I don't belong or betta yet I feel like something is missin. U eva feel like things couldn't get any worse than it already is? cause thats how I feel. He was everything I ever wanted in a man, when all I eva used to get was boi's. Howeva, I thank God that we got off on a good note, cause till today he is still there for me. Our situation was pretty complicated and we had to sacrifice the love we had for our future. I swear my life is like a freakin soaps opera, and all I can say is that baby u were my yesterday, today, tomorrow and future. Such is life that it can be so cruel to people. Sometimes I feel like maybe happiness wasn't meant for me. and if it is, then y am I still alone? After all the hurt and pain I finally found someone who made me forget about my past and look forward to a betta future. Someone who understood me maybe more than I understood myself. Someone who neva lied to me and was always honest and was there for me. U know the sayin when people fall in love they fall in love hard. I am one of those people, but I got a different spin to this theory. "People fall in love to be caught and the fear we have is Fallin and Breakin our heart" I took that chance with him and I neva once regreted it. I can't believe we are ova, its hard to process in my head, its truly unbearable to know that I will neva be able to touch u the way I used to and to kiss u the way we used to and to say wat I feel. If u are reading this I want u to know that: I neva knew any man in the year that I knew u. I am not to sure I can love again the way I love u. My heart is heavy and I feel like a part of me has died. Baby u were my other half and u completed me. Its painful knowing that I can neva be urs again. I wish I had the power to change certain things but I don't which is y I left it all in Gods hands. I wish u nothing but the best and that u find someone who will love u the way I did and possibly much more. I believe that things will change and that my happily ever after will come again. But untill then will things ever be the same?

New to this

So this is my first time on Blogger and i am pretty much new to this. I love bloggin, because it has a lot to do with writing. And ever since i can remember i loved writing, i used to write about random things, or jot down a few thing in my journal. Lets just say times were hard for me growin up and i had a lot of emotion to let off and the best way i knew how was to write it out. Howeva, now i can do it electronically and i will be online everyday to post up new things that has happened and of course my thoughts.